“I’m a self-ashamed people pleaser and I’m too afraid of confrontation to use my back bone.”
This past weekend I sat down and journaled for four hours, reviewing the highs and lows of 2016, the challenges and successes, and I listed out all of the things I’m excited for in 2017. And I finally found my word.
Leading up to this weekend, I kept feeling like the word “intentional” was a word I could embrace and carry in this new year, but as I sat in a coffee shop pouring out the honesty and vulnerability of 2016 onto paper a new word kept flooding my mind.
Confidence. A feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.
In 2016, I compared myself way too much to the picture-perfect lives of other wives, mothers, believers, creatives I knew in real life and online. And I always came up feeling like a failure. Joseph and I went on one date in 2016. Wyatt never slept through the night. I went weeks at a time without cracking open my Bible to spend time with God. Some months, I didn’t even make enough money as a photographer/blogger to pay for one week’s worth of groceries. Failed miserably. Or so I thought.
My lack of confidence as a wife, mama, believer, and creative had my head swirling with failure instead of seeing the successes right in front of me. So for 2017, I’m stepping out of my hidden corners, strapping confidence right onto my back, and I’m going to try my best to carry it with me each and every day as a reminder to be certain of my ability as a thoughtful wife, an intentional mama, a passionate believer, and an influential creative.
