Struggling with anxiety while also being pregnant has been a whole new ball game for me. I expected the normal fears of this life change: Wyatt adjusting to a sibling, having energy to take care of two children, giving birth in the heat of summer.
But I never expected the anxiousness and fear that comes with facing birth again after such a traumatic birth the first time. Watching friends walk through miscarriages and devastating ultrasounds the week of my 20 week scan and doing everything possible to block it all out and hold on to peace. Fighting through debilitating morning sickness that makes going out of the house a hurdle because I’m afraid to be sick, have a vertigo spell, and not be able to get back home. Still nursing a toddler while trying to figure out the right time to wean and fighting through that extra dose of hormones swirling through my body.
I ignorantly used to believe that anxiety was a direct result of my faith (or lack thereof) and since this past summer, I now realize how embarrassingly wrong I was. With the help of my midwife, vitamins and supplements, essential oils, and regular chiropractic care, it’s starting to feel a little bit more manageable and less like I’m drowning, but it’s still tough.
I often have more bad days than good in a week, but on the good days, I’m finding myself filled with this fearless hope and I’m holding onto that as tightly as possible.
